11. The Eggheads get their brains together

Hi, I'm Richard Everyman but people call me Dick

The farm was now behind us...

The farm was now behind us, but the road back home proved a hard one.  Yvette always said that before you embark on any journey you need to choose your travelling companions very carefully.  She was right.  Patch stopped to sniff at every tree along the route remarking on all the scents he came across.  "Huh, Snicker's been here, he's a chocolate labrador.  He lives over at Long Lake so don't know what business he's got around here.."  and so he went on and on.  But his own foxy smell was becoming more pungent and I told him he'd have to have a hose down if he was to meet the Eggheads. 

"I haven't had a bath in two years!  If this is the way of the Big Society I don't want any part of it."  He was adamant.  But so was I.  "Look Patch.  You either smarten up your act or you go back to the old shack.  I want us to have a clean start so think about it.  Just because you're down it doesn't mean you have to be out as well."  The closer we got to the house the more he started to come around to the idea of a good soak.

And so after a short while we were back at Lupin Drive where Patch dutifully stood under the hose pipe for his spring clean.  After a hearty shake he accompanied me into the kitchen where the Eggheads gave a cheer at the site of their new eggs. 

"Welcome back Dick!"  They said as I introduced them to my new companion. 
"This is Patch, he's an unemployed sheepdog, and disabled too as he's only got one ear."  The Eggheads looked at him with a great deal of sympathy.  I carried on filling their empty crowns as he returned their gaze and said, "I don't consider myself disabled, I mean I don't walk on my ear do I?"

As I put the final egg in place the surge of brain power was almost tangible.  They muttered amongst themselves then said excitedly, "Patch, you will need to learn how to use the system."
"System?  What system?" he asked.

Dick crowns the last Egghead

"The system that is in place to support all members of society be they black, white, gay or straight, old, young, able bodied or disabled."
Patch scratched his head.  "Well I'm certainly black and white but my sexual preferences are definitely not open for discussion."
I stepped in, sensing a long debate.  "You don't have to tick every box Patch.  Just one from the list of criteria will do.  They are just saying that all men, and dogs are equal."
He relaxed slightly and seemed satisfied with my explanation. 


"Well that's all right then, all things being equal." 
The Eggheads breathed a collective sigh of relief and continued.
"You must learn about these criteria.  These are the tools of the Big Society and so your disability may be a blessing in disguise."
I liked their reasoning. "So tell me Eggheads, where do we start?  How do we unlock the secrets of the Big Society?"
"Get out there and explore. Use the system and all of its resources and soon you will reveal the bigger picture."
A wave of excitement passed through me.  My quest was now underway.  Like Professor Cox I was on the verge of understanding a new system, a brave new world lay ahead of me, and Patch.  Soon I would discover the Big Society in all of its magnificent glory.
"Thank you Eggheads, thank you for your wisdom."

This is Dick Everyman signing out.